San Diego · Telehealth across California · Ages 5 and up
Child Grief & Loss Counseling
Children Grieve Too. They Just Don't Always Grieve Like Adults.
After a loss, a child's grief can look like play one minute and tears the next, or show up as anger, worry, or a stomachache. We give children a safe, gentle place to feel what they feel and learn to carry it.
A child's grief often comes out in play, not words.
Children grieve in waves. They may ask the same question again and again, seem completely fine an hour later, then fall apart over something small. This is normal. A child's mind protects them by letting grief in a little at a time. What can look like "not caring" is often just a child grieving in the only way they know how.
The losses children carry
Grief can follow many kinds of loss
Loss is not only about death, and no loss is too small to matter to a child. Families come to us after:
- The death of a parent
- The death of a grandparent
- The death of a sibling
- Losing another family member
- The death of a friend
- The loss of a beloved pet
- The end of an important relationship
- A major move away from people and places they love
- Another big life change that feels like a loss
What it can look like
How grief may show up in a child
Children rarely grieve in a straight line. It can appear in ways that surprise parents:
The same questions
Asking what happened, or where their person is, over and over as they try to understand.
Grief in play
Acting out goodbyes, hospitals, or funerals through toys, drawings, or pretend.
Anger
Irritability or outbursts that seem to come from nowhere.
Worry & fear
New fears, especially about the safety of the people they love.
Withdrawal
Going quiet, pulling back from friends, or losing interest in things they enjoyed.
Clinginess
Not wanting to be apart from you, worry at separations.
Sleep changes
Nightmares, trouble sleeping, or wanting to be close at bedtime.
Trouble focusing
A drop in concentration or a change in how they are doing at school.
What grief work is, and isn't
Grief is not a problem to be fixed
Therapy will not erase your child's loss or make the sadness disappear, and it should not try to.
What grief counseling can do is give your child a safe place to feel what they feel, put words or shape to it, and slowly learn to carry the loss in a way that lets them keep growing, laughing, and loving. Grief does not follow a schedule, and we never rush it. We simply walk alongside your child so they do not have to carry it alone.
How we help
A gentle, whole-child approach to grief
Safe expression
Through play, art, and story, children can show and share grief they cannot yet put into words.
Understanding
We help children make sense of loss in a way that fits their age, and gently correct the scary ideas kids sometimes form.
The body
Grief is physical too. We use calming and grounding tools for the sleep trouble, the tummy aches, the restlessness.
Remembering
We help children hold on to their love and memories, so the bond is honored rather than erased.
For families who want it, we can weave in a faith-integrated approach, which many families find meaningful in grief. It is always optional.
You are part of this
Supporting your grieving child, and yourself
Many parents come to us unsure what to say, how much to explain, or how to help while they are grieving too. You do not have to have the perfect words. We coach you on how to talk about loss honestly and gently, how to answer the hard questions children ask, and how to hold space for their grief alongside your own.
Helping the whole family steady itself is often the most powerful support a grieving child can receive.
A note for parents
If your child seems "too okay," that's normal too
One of the most common worries we hear is that a child is not grieving "enough," or is laughing and playing too soon. That is how many children grieve. They dip in and out. It does not mean they did not love deeply or that something is wrong. We help you read what your child is showing you.
Why families choose us
Compassionate, whole-child care
- A gentle pace that honors your child's grief without rushing it
- The whole-child view, including the body carrying the loss
- Support for pet loss, which is real and deeply felt by children
- A veteran-owned practice familiar with loss, separation, and military moves
- Guidance for parents who are grieving too
- In person in San Diego, or by telehealth across California
- A faith-integrated option for families who want it
- Care shaped around your child, not a one-size formula
Your child doesn't have to grieve alone
Tell us what your family is going through. We will help you find a gentle, caring next step for your child.
Common questions
Parents often ask
How do children grieve differently from adults?
Children grieve in waves and in short bursts. They may cry one moment and play the next, revisit the loss as they grow and understand more, and show grief through behavior or their bodies rather than words. All of this is normal.
My child seems fine, even happy. Is that normal?
Very often, yes. Many children dip in and out of grief and protect themselves by only feeling it a little at a time. It does not mean they did not love deeply. If you are unsure how your child is doing, a consultation can help you read the signs.
Do you help children after the loss of a pet?
Yes. For many children, a pet is a first and profound loss, and it deserves to be taken seriously. Pet loss is a very real reason to seek grief support.
Will therapy make my child forget or "get over" the loss?
No, and that is not the goal. Grief counseling helps your child carry the loss and hold on to their love and memories, not erase them. We honor the bond rather than trying to move past it.
What ages do you work with?
We work with children ages 5 and up, along with teens and families.
Do I participate in my child's grief counseling?
Yes. We support you as well, including how to talk about loss, answer hard questions, and care for your child while you grieve too.
Is faith-integrated support available?
Yes, for families who want it. Many families find it meaningful in grief. It is always optional and never required.
Do you take insurance?
New Birth is a private-pay practice. We provide superbills you can submit for possible out-of-network reimbursement, though reimbursement is never guaranteed. Current rates are on our fees page.
Do you offer telehealth?
Yes. We see families in person at our Mission Valley office in San Diego and by secure telehealth anywhere in California.
Explore related care
New Birth Family Counseling provides psychotherapy to clients located in California and offers whole-child, mind-body informed care for children ages 5 and up. This page is informational and does not constitute medical or psychological advice or a diagnosis. Grief is individual, and every child's path is different.
Are you a pediatrician or provider looking to refer a child? Visit our professional referrals page.